Friday, March 05, 2010

Lost and Found...


Well, I’m not sure if my creativity is at its peak nor I wonder if there is anything left in me. The reason being the four large shots of signature I had tonight are really reaching my head and stopping the flow of my words. But I bet I can beat that to death and express myself, though not in a much lucid way, of the sickening ordeal I had gone through to get to where I am today. In the last three years of my life I have been a helpless witness to the devastation caused by failure which I am not yet sure if its been really beyond my control. But one thing that offers me solace is the fact that there are people, here in the field of civil service exams, who have gone through pain much beyond one’s imagination. And do not judge me here. It is not that, I have no sympathies for them. It’s just that life has been real bitch to some. Only these thoughts that help me remain grounded to the realities of life despite the random happiness that fills my life.

Oh yeah., I have just found some joy, at this moment, which can evade me anytime like a flashing light. But I earnestly pray that it does not. For, I only believe that I have already been through my share of pain. I have found the long-waited-for joy right now by having able to get through the civil service main exams. Though, its not the end. I have to appear at the interview which is only another way of elimination of nearly two-third of the people who have been selected. Ok, now putting all those pessimistic premonitions behind I have nearly a month to look forward to spending the time, in a arduous fashion, for my interview. And it is only this new found joy that is going to keep me working.

Work….work….work….